Fiona Apple Roasts Trump’s Chestnuts

Fiona Apple sings in a Santa hat

Fiona Apple roasts Trump’s chestnuts for Christmas.

Chanteuse Fiona Apple is ushering in a cool Yule with a fresh take on “The Christmas Song,” the holiday classic penned by Bob Wells and Mel Tormé in 1945. Apple’s version wistfully imagines “Trump’s nuts roasting on an open fire.”

Sound cozy? Wait till you get to the part about “Mothers of color with their kids out of sight, will find it hard to sleep at night.” And more like that. You can listen to Apple’s angelic acappella version here. Or, if you prefer a video version (with a barking dog in the background), find it embedded below.

As to whether Grinching Trump is in the spirit of the holiday, well, we’ll leave it to you, dear reader, to decide whether that’s naughty or nice. But we give Apple high marks for originality and — to mix a holiday metaphor — chutzpah.

Trump’s Nuts Roasting On An Open Fire

Trump’s nuts roasting on an open fire
as he keeps nipping at his foes.
you’ll cry creepy uncle
every time he arrives
for he keeps clawing at your clothes

everybody knows some money and entitlement
can help to make the season white
mothers of color with their kids out of sight
will find it hard to sleep at night.
They know that truuump is on his way.
he’s got black boys in hoodies locked up on his sleigh
and every working man is going to cry
when they learn that Letch don’t care how you live or if you die

Sooo I’m offering this simple phrase
to kids from 1 to 92
although it’s been said many times, many ways
Merry Christmas to you Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas
Donald Trump, fuck you

 

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